Low Fidelity

Wish I could hold you up, in my arms.
Keep you safe and sound from any harm.
I can't seem to function, from this far away.
And every little moment looks so dull,
without your color in my day.

Oh it feels so good to hear you speak.

This is where I start to miss you, more than I can bear.
I hate this distance in between us, I don't think it's fair.
All my time spent wondering, how I stay true to you.
But you're not here, and now I fear,
I'll never get back to you.

Would have carried you, to anywhere you pleased,
even if my limbs were broken, and my body was diseased.
I can't seem to operate from this far away.
There's a million little voices tellin' me
I should have stayed.

Oh it feels so good to hear you speak.

This is where I start to miss you, more than I can bear.
I hate this distance in between us, I don't think it's fair.
All my time spent wondering, how I stay true to you.
But you're not here, and now I fear,
I'll never get back to you.

My blood aches from from trying to make you appear,
Oh its such an awful sight to just see me in the mirror.

This is where I start to miss you, more than I can bear.
I hate this distance in between us, I don't think it's fair.

This is how you know what love really is

You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep
because your reality is finally better than your dreams

"You"

The words have been drained from this pencil
Sweet words that I want to give you
And I can't sleep
I need to tell you
Goodnight

When we're together, I feel perfect
When I'm pulled away from you, I fall apart
All you say is sacred to me
Your eyes are so blue
I can't look away


You know you're all that I live for
You know I'd die just to hold you
Stay with you
Somehow I'll show you
That you are my night sky
I've always been right behind you
Now I'll always be right beside you

So many nights I cried myself to sleep
Now that you love me, I love myself
I never thought I would say this
I never thought there'd be
You

My Escape

I realized something last night.
I realized that singing defines me.

Singing makes me who I am.

I live for those moments
when it's YOU in control.
When you're singing
and all of a sudden,
you don't have to try anymore.

It's like breathing.
The sound just flows out
a river of sound
cascading like a waterfall.

and once you realize that,
theres no holding back.

You stop thinking
stop listening
stop looking
stop everything
except that music.
that sound
that envelops all
with its embrace.

You just sing.
Close your eyes, your arms reach out
just letting go of everything
letting it ALL out.

when that happens, I forget all my problems
my weaknesses, my faults.
When that happens, I just don;'t care anymore
I am beautiful
and i am alone.
It's only when i'm alone that i sing with such
fierce, reckless abandon.
If I'm not alone,
how is it an escape?

Now I reach higher and higher
testing my limits
only to find
that there are none.

My voice is strong.
A steady thrum of sound
flawless vibrato.

As my thoughts come back,
I sing them out and away.
And as they churn faster and faster,
I crescendo.

Eyes squeezed tight,
arms reaching ever outwards
head thrown back.
My feet are planted firmly on the ground.
So then why do i feel like I'm flying?
I feel so crazy alive.
There's so much power inside of me
that I never knew existed.

And as i reach my final note,
as i reach that double forte,
I hold it.
I let it explode.
Its tones ringing and pure,
until I can sing no more.
The sound stops,
its last tones ringing in the silence.

I take a deep breath
and lower my head.
Facing my fears,
facing the world.
I walk forwards like nothing happened.
But something did.
Something hit me.

Singing is my escape.

The only thing wrong with that?
After every song is over,
when the final note is dead and gone,
so is my escape.
And i face reality once again.
Not ready, never ready.

Though
accepting that i must.
Willing to try.
Hoping to get through.
Waiting for the time...
for the time when I can sing again.

For the time when
everything
will be
okay
once more.

Love

Love

is such a loaded word.

It can mean the world
or nothing at all.

But does it mean passion?
or does it mean warmth?

Is it fiery?
or is it calming?

Does it overwhelm you?
or dwell within you?

Does it take you by surprise?
Or is it something you've known all along?

How can you tell
which one
is real?

Is it neither?
Or a mix of both?

Sometimes,
when you really think about it,
don't you just want
to let go?
to not worry about everything?

But then, how would you carry on?
Without that love.
or whatever it is.

How can you tell

what
love
really
is
?

gah
tiv r u on?
if u r i wanna talk 2 u...

I Miss You

I don't wanna feel the way that i do
I just wanna be right here with you
I don't wanna see, see us apart
I just wanna tell you straight from my heart

Hey, i can't sleep
I just can't breathe
When your shadow is all over me
Don't wanna be
A fall in your eyes
And all we had was built on lies

I don't wanna feel the way that i do
I just wanna be right here with you
I don't wanna see, see us apart
I just wanna tell you straight from my heart
I miss you

What would it take
For you to see
To make you wanna stand
That i always believe
You and i can make it through
You still know i can't get over you

why?

Who can tell me

why

why nothing makes sense
why i want him to be you
why i cant ever keep my thoughts
in line

why the last thing i think about
every fucking night
before i go to bed
is you

i mean, wtfuck?

God.
I mean isn't there anyone
who has the same problem?

haha but then again i just have issues ;P

What sucks the most
is when you're both there

because, like i was telling you
it's more intense
so it overpowers the other one
so i dont focus on it

WHICH I SHOULD BE DOING!!!!
and im not

jesus
im such a bitch
to the people who deserve it the least
the people who love me

why
cant i get anything right?