What must it be like? I cant even IMAGINE...

overwhelming emotions
no escape
there's no escape

nothing works
at this level of despair

in a corner
of the room
sitting
curled up into a ball

music blaring
bass and drum
heavy guitar
mizing together
in a loud cacophony
an attempt
to drown it all out

but to no avail
shaking
gasping
what to do?

looking around wildly
for anything
ANYTHING
to make the pain
go away.

a twinkle of silver
where the sun hits
just right
the metal calls
inviting

it can take the pain away
put it in a different place
erase your mind

reaching out deftly
not even knowing
what's
going
on.
Just knowing
that the pain
must stop.

grabbing the handle.
sitting back against the wall
one sleeve rolled up.
in the other hand
the knife is perched
eyes closing head against the wall
hand lowers

touching
blade to skin
gasping
it feels so...good.

remembering
that time
a while ago
whenever an escape was needed
there it was
as it is here now
never failing.

pressing harder now
a red line forms
a manic smile appears
eyes wild

this is what was needed
a quick motion
a quick swipe
and now a laugh.
a cackle
welling up from within
holding the wrist
with the other hand.

holding it close
to her face
licking the blood off
rusty
her life depends on that blood.

But by letting it out,
she purges herself
of that bad blood
carrying thoughts
of you
and how
it can't be

holding the knife up now
examining it closely
touching finger to tip
drawing it back
with a pinprick of blood
on it

hiding the blade
away from the world
in a place
where it will always be
whenever she needs to
escape.