Making sense of it all...

Sometimes the world seems upside down
i don't know whether to grin or frown.
everything seems out of place,
confusion spelled across my face.

You are what i want and need
but there's that voice i have to heed.
If not now, not soon, then when?
I'm sick of drama, sick of men.

Then there's that thought that pulls me back
that gives me the confidence i lack
your eyes, your hair, your smiling face
your walk, your touch, your warm embrace.

you are not always there, however
and i doubt that you will be forever.
when you're not there, but my other one is,
it's not always your face i see, but his.

and i know i should be ending this
i know that what awaits us is
what i want but i fear ill miss him
whenever I'm with you. i mean,
you know what crazy shit the heart can do.

and even though i love you more
it's still painful to shut this door.
But ill try as best i can,
cuz all i want is to hold your hand.

Although i might soon be a mess
might not look or act my best,
know that i love you and always will.
you, my love, my life, my thrill.

I'm doing this because i love you
but know it's going to hurt me to.
after a while it will all be okay
we just have to hold on until the day

when we won't have to run or hide
off into the sunset we can ride.
no lies, no fear, no stormy weather.
Free. Just you and I together.