If you want a job done well,
you gotta fucking do it yourself.

Reflection

Look at me

You may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day
It's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

I am now
In a world where I
Have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

There's a heart that must be
Free to fly
That burns with a need to know
The reason why

Why must we all conceal
What we think, how we feel?
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

The worst feeling in the world

is wanting to let it out
and not being able to.

I want to scream
I want to throw things
I want to call you
and spill everything
I want someone to listen
I want someone to care
I want someone to help
I JUST WANT SOMEONE.

and yet...
it's the one thing i CANT have someone with.
the ONE thing.

and so im trapped.
with nothing but a heart full of misery so bad it makes my whole body ache.
with nothing but a constant burning sensation in the back of my throat from trying not to cry.

with nothing but broken memories
and hopes and wishes
for what won't be.

wanting to let it out
and not being able to...

can there BE a worse feeling?
ever?

You know what else?

I'm sorry.

I'm just a stupid whore and there's no reason for me to put all of the blame on you.

You made it clear.
I just hoped you were just saying that.

Please...



i can be whoever you want.
give me a chance.

and just so you know...


i can take a fucking hint.

What do you want from me?

I would have thought
that that would mean something to you

especially you...
and your way of caring while not showing it so the people can't even decipher it...

but i can.
i can sense it.

and it wasnt there.

and of course the first thing you say after has to do with her.

Who am i kidding?
Who am i to think i could somehow be special?
Who am i to think i could be as good as her?
Who am i to think i have the right to go against everything ive ever taught myself?
and who am i to fall, assuming you did too.

What do you want from me?